Opinions & Espressos

After being bugged by Zero The Hero to put some desi songs on ToTD, decided to listen to some. The first one was from a recent movie, can’t remember which [Bro doesn't tag his stuff...], but it was titled “Pappu Can’t Dance” or something. Thank you sir, but I’m better off with what I’m listening. As I was playing it on the speakers [not on my phone with hphones] bro and the little tykes [read: cousins] started jumping around singing - “But Ashu can’t dance!” -_-”

Anyhoo, today I bring to you some observations of the “Useless Geeky Survey That Benefits No One”.

• Out of all who responded, 64.3% were Male and 35.7% were female. Mr.Poultry Minister, there is a draught of chicks.
• 21.4% people are 0-18 years of age, 35.7% in the 18-24 range, 21.4% in the 24-35 range, 7.1% in the 35-45 range and 14.3% in the 45-60 range. Ancient people don’t read blogs it seems. 
• Most of my readers [who took the survey] are from India, other countries include USA [2], Australia [1], Italy [1] and Monkeyland [1]. I am femes with the monkeys. I makes them intelligent! Right Nidhi?
• 7.1% people visit to read the long posts, 42.9% for the Madness, 28.6% to read a teen’s life/ believe there are more idiotic people than them and 50% people visit Thunder of the Dragon to befriend me. Of course somebody was deluded enough to think I would offer Free Pizza. Bears don’t eat pizza mister..they eat honey.
• 14.3% people like reading the Geeky Posts, 7.1% people like the Music, 42.9% like to read My life, 35.7% like to read the commentary.
• In the future, 21.4% people would like to see an increase in Geeky posts and Short stories, 7.1% people would like more music, 21.4% people would like travel related things, while 28.6% would like more commentary. There are people who would like insights into how I got so crazy. I was born crazy! Mwahahaahaha!
• 33.3% people want more pictures, 25% people want the posts to be shorter, 8.3% people want a change in the design, 25% people are tired of the Emperor shit and 8.3% people say they don’t like the Blogroll as they find it hard to find who is who. 2 people skipped the question. People also do not like other people on my blogroll as they think all blogrolls are complete with just having them, people do not like Geeky slang and other strange words as they interrupt the flow of the posts, people [especially the chicks] want more pictures of india and I’ll be happy to oblige, Poultry people hate Black Sabbath and people hate me [yay finally somebody HATES me!!!].
• When asked if this survey would change things, 0.0 % answered in the affirmative, 66.7% people said No, 8.3% people couldn’t decide while 25% people don’t care. 2 people skipped the question. Shows you why democracy never works… People don’t give rulers a freakin’ second chance to improve…. Which is why its good to be an Emperor!
• When given a suggestion box, 6 people responded. Some people think I can’t harness enough electricity to make a cup of coffee… shows you why America is called “Nothing but a bunch of idiots”. Who uses electricity to make coffee [kaapi?] anyway? But nobody has the nerve to tell me that they have a secret crush on me… not even monkey’s from monkeyland. 8 people have skipped the question.

I got some good feedback, and certainly try to improve. However I’ll be honest and say in WHAT I won’t improve -

• The looooong posts. Sorry.. can’t keep my fingers in control.
• The Emperor shit… all of you [and I know exactly who] are sentenced to life imprisonment in the dungeons with the Joker.
• And sorry, Black Sabbath ain’t going away anytime soon!

Thanks to all of you who voted!

Filler

Boy: Dad, why don’t we see the full moon everyday?
Dad: Load shedding son, load shedding.

All images ARE BELONGS TO ME!

A Bit of Precious Time

Ladies, Gentlewomen and all the males… just because I had nothing to do I created a survey for your enjoyment and my analysis. It’s aptly titled “The Useless Geeky Survey That Benefits No One” and I would highly appreciate if you completed it. It’ll take only 5 minutes at the very least. Click below for the link thanks.

Click Here to take survey

I might publish the results in a post if I even remember it.

Slit my Wrists, Slit my Wrists

Stolen from Dabido who in turn stole it from Suanie who stole it from the BBC. Well sort of. 11 songs I would slit my wrists to. But I’d probably just smash the speakers.

Honorable Mention: Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams.

11. Sexy Eyes by Whigfield
MOST. ANNOYING. SONG. EVER!!!

10. Speed of Sound by ColdPlay
I’m not much of a ColdPlay fan and this song doesn’t make me change that. Brings me sleep at the speed of sound.

9. Conquest by The White Stripes
Who authorised this shit as a song? The bit where JW goes Koooooooooooonkwwwwwwwwwwwest makes me want to smash my speakers.

8. Weekend Warrior by Iron Maiden
Go listen to the Number of the Beast and come back to listen to this song. You’ll know what I mean. -_-”

7. Bootylicious by Destiny’s Child
I should just go drown myself in a bucket of water.

6. A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion
Technically not worse.. just bad but bro loves this song [along with all Celine Dion tracks] so much that he has it as his ringtone.

5. Ring My Bell by Enrique Iglesias
TING TONG! #@%#@%$#^ %$^$#$@#%$@# ^%^%*^&*(&^%*&

4. Being Lonely by Backstreet Boys
Emo shit. Wait its Emo-pop shit. Even worse than listening to a Paris Hilton song.

3. London Bridge by Fergie
They call this a SONG?!! WHAT THE #%$@#$?

2. A Public Affair by Jessica Simpson
I debated between Paris Hilton’s Stars Are Blind and this but despite both not able to sing, JSo’s song wins as Stars Are Blind is marginally better.

1. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
It’s over a decade people. This should have been buried with the Titanic a long time ago. But no, everywhere you go there’ll be people who have this as a ringtone or a caller tune.

On a side note, watched Mr.Bean’s Holiday again yesterday. The first time, I missed the start. It’s was good. Here’s La Mer [Beyond the Sea] by Charles Trenet which is the song at the end of the film.

Master of Reality

• As of this writing, the hiatus is cancelled. While electricity/internet was a part of the cause [apparently one of Airtel's switching centres caught fire] the main cause was I was feeling the onslaught of another burnout. And you know what happened last year.. half inspired posts so I thought I’d take it a bit easy. But nah… couldn’t control it.
• However I should note that blogging is not just typing out a 100 posts at full speed and posting, blogging comprises of replying to comments as well as making comments on other people’s blogs. Which means ish is more active as a blogger than I am. Which also means I am still on hiatus! Yay! I know, I cheat a lot.
• I was checking the impact of the Geek Wrestler on the blogosphere. The highlightss are as follows:- Shani is less of a dumb blonde than she was… now she can use a computer without something going wrong in 5 mins; Ish is no longer afraid… of all the fan girls breaking into his house at 12:00 AM; People steal my ideas and cite me as an influence; Poonam.. uh, ahem… well I do advertise her posts a lot a bit don’t I?; Dabs… hmm… the only one who hasn’t been affected. Hasn’t got a girlfriend still. I did point out that he should put himself on eBay but whoever listens to me? And you know whats cool? These doods and gals get more hits than me. Of course they don’t get as many intelligent readers as I do!
• Speaking of Shani, she emailed me from Sri Lanka [where she's on holiday] to tell me that her Dial-up was faster than mine. Bitch. -_-” [Okay thats cheating, she emailed me a few times earlier too.]
• Electricity Cut timings:- 9:30 AM to 1:30 PM, 5:05 PM to 9:30 PM [on Mondays.] Other days - 9:30 AM to 2:00 PM, 3:15 PM to 6:15 PM. Dude, what am I, whose income depends on the FREAKIN’ electricity, to do? Don’t gimme that bullshit of no rainfall and yadda yadda. Even if you DO want to cut that electricity use some sensible timings like 6:00AM to 11:AM and 7:00PM to 9:00PM. Who’s going to surf the internet at freakin 8:00AM? Your nani? There’s a local bandh tomorrow. If I were a bookie, I’d hedge my bets that a few MSEB folks get beat up but nothing much else.
• Went to the grocers yesterday to get something. Forgot to take a bag.. plastic bags are banned, something which I also forgot. Anyway, when I asked him for one, he says they’re banned but you can get this yellow one for Rs.2. Bah. Another half assed effort at banning things. You don’t just ban things, you provide alternatives. When we were in Goa, they banned plastic bags and made it mandatory that all supermarkets and shops handout those recycled paper bags. Over here they just make thicker [higher micron] plastic bags and sell them. I know, I shouldn’t be bitching for Rs.2 but really, if you want people to adopt something, give them an incentive to.
• Am I updates becoming too Politicalish? Must stop… I’d be the last person you’d ask who knew anything about that.
• As of tomorrow, your [future] Emperor will endure torture in order to become thin. My brother thinks I’m being lazy about it. In order to do that I am off all junk food [noooooooooooooo!], go cycling every effing morning at 5:00 am and start playing some sport of my choice. I said I would like to learn swimming to which I got hit in the head. Bro: I know full well that you know there’s no swimming classes here. Plan failed. The choice is now either Tennis or cricket. I’m leaning to the former as I already know how to play cricket. Oh and did I tell you about the Weight loss regime at the Gym? Why me? Now I have to sleep early everyday to get up early.
• Indian Man: Mere paas TV hai, fridge hai, computer hai, laptop hai, Playstation hai…. His neighbour: Abe, chalane ke liye light kiddhar hai?
• Downloaded Blender the other day and the interface is pretty confusing. Took me a while to get it and make a sphere. It’s pretty good and powerful. And then after I’d done some things, I started rendering and found why despite having Bryce [the full version] and Maya Student edition, I never use them. My PC is so PHREAKING slow. -_-”
• I’ve decided that I’m going to buy an iPod. Yes, its finalised. I was aiming for a Nano, but its too expensive considering that the 8GB version is more or less priced as much as the 80GB classic version. So yeah the Classic it is… unless Apple reduces the Touch 16GB’s price to that of the 80GB classic! I’ve even started saving money and by my next b’day, I’ll have enough. Think of the future kids!
• There’s this dude, lets call him Freeloader, who is being a pain in the @$$ right now. He knows bro, and when I was sick in early June, bro was at the cafe and he had bro check his [the FL's] email etc. on the server [which I use for typing and all] without charge. Now he bugs me everyday to check his email [without charge] with “Eh it takes 2 minutes”. This is why I do not like bro taking the cafe charge. He just doesn’t get that if you give people something for free the first time, they just think that its for free always. If I am free, I might oblige, but usually I’m not so I tell him to use on of the PC’s to which he says “Ah… ab mere se bhi paise le.” And when I just give him my “robotic” smile, he goes away to comeback the next day. So today he came again, plus I’m feeling a bit under the weather.. the cold again, and once again when I refuse, this dude starts ranting like as if he owns the cafe - “Ah, now you’ve grown big. I know how you always refuse me. You will charge me even for 2 minutes of email checking.” I just told him to Fuck off. You might know my brother, but its I who run the place and have been doing so for the last two years. I know how to do my business. I just wanted to say “typical freeloader indian” but I now know too many good folks here on the internet.. ah go to hell… Typical freeloader indian.
• I need a new keyboard. Surprisingly this china one has lasted a lot more than my estimate. The current state is pretty bad as the Shift, Space, Enter and alphabet keys all stick if you hit them. And thats not a good thing when you have to do loads of marathi typing. Who thought it was a bright idea to make marathi typing anyway?
• Reema: Tags are a fun way to meet new people. I’m a bit partial to them because that was how I first got visitors on the old blog. But yeah, excessive tags are boring.
• I entered in Joe Siegler’s Black Sabbath - The Rules of Hell boxset giveaway. You have to answer 5 Q’s to stand a chance to win one of the 5 sets from a lucky draw. The Rules of Hell hits stores tomorrow [I think] and is essentially all the DIO era albums remastered. The last date for entries is tomorrow so hurry if you want to.. you can be anywhere in the world to be eligible. Don’t know why I bothered though, I never won even Rs.10 when it came to lucky draws and stuff. A friend of mine once won Rs.500 in that Playwin Superlotto… but then again, the amount of money he must’ve spent on the tickets count against that.
• If 9 month old Joshua did conquer the world, I wonder how his palace would be like.
• Theres some sort of celebration going on here by the Shiv Sena with lunch for the whole town. Rumour has it that there is Biryani. lol. Even if I wanted I couldn’t.. don’t eat meat on Mondays. I know some people don’t get how we.. uh change gears from vegan to non-vegan for certain days, had some friends in school who thought that way too. Iono, but if I ask myself if its out of devotion or anything, I would say no. Not now anyways. I have been taught to do that and now I just do it out of habit. I remember once that my friend Sukant had his b’day on a monday and he gave me cake and all day I cribbed on it being a monday. Finally I said to myself “nothing happens with a little bit” and when I got to the fridge but still the sides were fighting. In the end, I just drank some water and went back to sleep. lol. Moral of the story? If you can control your desire, you can rule the world… and then do what you desire.
• Amit Anna, stealing my chana!

And I’m outta here!

Hallow’s Eve

Note: Another repost from the old Act of War archives. I think only Dabido would be the one who I knew back then. And this my first [lame] attempt at fiction. [Make that second... the first one went incomplete.]

It was dark. The sky was cloudy and hence there was no light. The cart road was deserted. Fog had set in. This was a 16– England county. Percy was walking as fast as he could. He had been to a friends house in the next village. Percy was used to nighttime travelling. He had walked on this road in darker nights than this. Yet a part of him was still afraid of something… something sinister. He neared a fence.

Suddenly before him he saw a figure. The figure had a wicked smile on its face. Percy felt shivers run down his spine. A cloud moved and the full moon shone on the figure. Percy smiled to himself as he saw if was nothing but a pumpkin. It was Hallow’s Eve after all. Feeling better Percy walked past the Pumpkin. When he was a few yards from the figure he turned back to see it one last time. The figure was looking at him! It had turned to watch him.

Feeling panicky Percy ran down the road. The Forthing woods were nearing. On the other side of the woods lay his home. The cart road wound through the middle of the woods. The woods had a sinister and eery feeling to them. An owl hooted somewhere from above. Percy was afraid now. He started on the cart road. The road which had been wide on the rolling countryside was now just a single person track since most of the carts now took the big road round the woods rather than through the woods.

There was many a talk in the village where Percy lived of strange things happening in these woods on Halloween. Stories from blood sucking vampires to man-wolves. Last year on Hallow’s eve one of the boys had ventured in the forest on his horse. The horse was found near the forest’s edges… dead. Nothing was heard of the boy from then on.

Unfortunately this was the road Percy was supposed to take. With a deep breath Percy started on his road. He encountered nothing for quite a while. At every owl hoot he felt his insides squirming. A bit later he started feeling that all of those tales around the village were just old fables spun around by the village elders to keep the boys from the forest.

Percy kept looking around for the old tree. It was a marker for him so that he should know he was halfway into the forest. This old tree was queer. All of the other trees in these woods were green and healthy but this tree had always been rotting and old. It was as if that the tree had always been like that. Percy saw the clove of trees before him. He knew that the old tree was just beyond them, he just had to take a turn.

The sight which greeted him was astounding. The tree was all lit up with pumpkins hanging from every rotting branch. Owls and bats were perched upon the branches. It looked as if an old woman was carrying lanterns. Suddenly Percy felt a hand on his shoulder. A voice almost like the hiss of a snake whispered in his ear,”Ah! Welcome, yound master. It was good of you to join us in our merry making. Come with me now.” The stranger was clad in a black cloak with a hood that shadowed his face. Percy could only see his green eyes and yellowed teeth. The figure had a wicked smile upon his face just like the pumpkin at the edge of the forest.

Percy was shivering with fear. The figure steered him towards a group of people sitting around a large bonfire, with its iron grip. Percy was made to sit on a log of wood facing the group. The hooded man then said to his colleagues who were eyeing Percy interestedly,”Friends, this young master has given us immense pleasure by being our special guest today. Ah ah! He shall see our merry-making today!” He let out a bitter laugh that seemed to shatter the ice cold silence around the forest.

“Aye Smoth,” another said to the first,”Let us show the young tarp a true hallow’s eve celebration.” The group erupted in laughter, evil laughter. Another figure stood up and went to the old tree. Fumbling inside a hollow in the tree the figure brought a flask and a leather bag towards the bonfire and then poured the red contents in the flask. Then drinking a draught of it passed it on to the other figures. Smoth who was the last to drink brought it towards Percy.

“Drink, young master. Drink and be healthy.” saying so he thrust the flask into Percy’s hands. The sight of the liquid turned Percy’s blood run cold. It was BLOOD. Feeling gross, even repulsed but he was forced to drink of it. Percy felt like vomiting. He somehow contained himself while the silent figures laughed.
“And now for the main celebrations to begin,” the figure called Smoth said, “Friends let the rites begin!” He shouted commandingly.

All of the figures got up mutely and fumbled within the hollows of the old tree while Smoth came up behind Percy who was shaking very badly now. “Come master, come. Near the fire now.” Smoth brought Percy nearer to the fire. The other figures were returning.

“Now,” commanded Smoth,”remove your hoods and pay your respect to the moon god!” With a swift motion all of them lowered their hoods. The fire which was crackling merrily didn’t even cast a hint of light on their faces. They were still enshrouded in the dark. One of the figures removed a broad axe from its belt. Smoth pushed Percy near the fire. Percy’s blood ran cold. He knew it now that he was going to be killed, that he would die now. He was going to be made a sacrifice by these creatures to their demon lord. He knew it was the end. He closed his eyes as the figure lifted its axe. The blow fell and still Percy didn’t feel anything. He was numb.

A voice sounded from the darkness,”Now what are you waiting for boy. Pick it up and bring it here.” Percy opened his eyes. The clouds had shifted once again and the full moon was visible. Before him stood 3 young ladies and 2 men who seemed to be amused at his expression. One of the men gestured towards the ground and percy saw a pumpkin cloven in two. The older of the two men whose voice was the same as Smoth’s said,”Bring it here master. Come and enjoy it with the same pumpkin juice you drank earlier.” All of them burst out laughing.

Percy was relieved. He thought it was stupid of him thinking it was blood. He mingled with the group and took part in the celebration. He learnt that these people came every year on Hallow’s Eve to this place to celebrate the past year. They were all among the nobility who had to thank this place for making them who they were. Percy feeling relieved kept listening to their talk as sleep stole over him. He leaned against the old tree and fell into deep slumber.

Percy was wakened by the chirping of the birds signaling morning. He got up. The people of the night were gone. He felt like it was a dream. The old tree looked as old and rotting as usual. He felt that it must all have been just a dream. Percy made his way home. At the outskirts of the wood Percy noticed that it was still quite early and as yet nobody had woken up. He quickly made his way towards his house. Using the ladder outside his wiondow Percy got up to his room. Feeling foolish about himself Percy laughed at himself for his panic. He was surely a fool to think that such things existed.

Then Percy noticed the talisman hanging around his neck. There was a pumpkin with an evil smile on one side while the other side depicted a full moon shining on an old tree and the following words written on it - THOU SHALL BE BACK AT HALLOW’s EVE & THOU SHALL HAVE ALL THY HEART DESIRES. It was all real…

Thanks to Dabido’s “What to Blog about” page for this inspiration of writing a bit of fiction. The story is similar to most halloween stories but still I can say its my imagination at work there.

Fucking Unbelievable!

Note: This is a report from the old geekwrestler.com archives which went the way of the dinosaurs. I thought this was too good to die.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word ‘fuck’. It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, ‘fuck’ falls into many grammatical categories.

• It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
• It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn’t give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
• It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I’m late for my date with Mary). 
• It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she’s also stupid)..

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word ‘fuck’.  Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations..

Greetings   “How the fuck are ya?”

Fraud       “I got fucked by the car dealer.”

Resignation “Oh, fuck it!”

Trouble     “I guess I’m fucked now.”

Aggression  “FUCK YOU!”

Disgust     “Fuck me.”

Confusion   “What the fuck…….?”

Difficulty  “I don’t understand this fucking business!”

Despair     “Fucked again…”

Pleasure    “I couldn’t be fucking happier.”

Displeasure “What the fuck is going on here?”

Lost        “Where the fuck are we.”

Disbelief   “UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!”

Retaliation “Up your fucking ass!”

Denial      “I didn’t fucking do it.”

Perplexity  “I know fuck all about it.”

Apathy      “Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?”

Greetings   “How the fuck are ya?”

Suspicion   “Who the fuck are you?”

Panic       “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Directions  “Fuck off.”

Disbelief   “How the fuck did you do that?”

It can be used in an anatomical description - “He’s a fucking asshole.”

It can be used to tell time - “It’s five fucking thirty.”

It can be used in business - “How did I wind up with this fucking job?”

It can be maternal - “Mother fucker.”

It can be political - “Fuck Al Gore!”

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history…

“What the fuck was that?”
- Mayor of Hiroshima

“Where the fuck is all this water coming from?”
- Captain of the Titanic

“That’s not a real fucking gun.”
- John Lennon

“Who’s gonna fucking find out?”
- Richard Nixon

“Heads are going to fucking roll.”
- Anne Boleyn

“Let the fucking woman drive.”
- Commander of Space Shuttle

“What fucking map?”
- “Challenger,” Mark Thatcher

“Any fucking idiot could understand that.”
- Albert Einstein

“It does so fucking look like her!”
- Picasso

“How the fuck did you work that out?”
- Pythagoras

“You want what on the fucking ceiling?”
- Michaelangelo

“Fuck a duck.”
- Walt Disney

“Why?- Because its fucking there!”
- Edmund Hilary

“I don’t suppose its gonna fucking rain?”
- Joan of Arc

“Scattered fucking showers my ass.”
- Noah

“I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.”
- John F. Kennedy

***

Have a fucking great weekend!

P.S. More reposts coming over the weekend. Cheap way of going on hiatus without having guest bloggers running amok.

A Letter

To,
My loyal subjects [thats debatable...]

This is to inform you that your [future] Emperor of the World will be on hiatus indefinitely [that would be until the internet/electricity situation is back to normal]. I might reply to your comments, make some posts.. but yeah I’m still on hiatus as they won’t be with 100% geeky efficiency, nor will I be able to visit your blog [unless something catches my fancy]. Yeah, yeah, I know, not much of a difference.

So, enjoy your freedom while you have it.

Sd/-
The Geek Wrestler.

P.S. I am NOT to blame for sky-rocketing prices, no petrol, more electricity cuts and the vanishing of the rains. Thats just Sonia Gandhi pretending to be Geek Wrestler. Beware of fakes…

Back with a Vengeance

Sorry for the emo post last time and the “disappearence”, my net is having problems, it connects for 4 minutes 27 secs and then disconnects every darn time. [Yes I counted.] Also wordpress.com had been showing me that my blog was “deleted” for some reason and yet the comment emails were trickling in. Poonam reported that the post was showing up as “comments off” so basically I could do nothing but stare at my screen… and play Minesweeper of course. Beat it on expert for the nth time possible.

Don’t worry about me killing myself folks… I am firmly of the belief that mankind needs some ass-kickin’ and I will RULE the world and go into the evil emperor hall of fame. Anybody else  [especially Sri Lankan chicks, Australian doods, German Cats and 9 month old kids] claiming to take over my throne better have a solution to superdupermegasticky glue. Seriously though even if I did want to, I wouldn’t because I’m a scaredy cat. I once knew a boy in class who had written his girl friend’s name on his arm with a razor blade. The next week she dumped him. Thats a lesson for you right there kids… do NOT do such things unless its a long term investment.

I went out cycling yesterday [being my weekly holiday]. Quite a surprise to the folks at home as I’ve had 3 bicycles altogether which were used for about one week [all of them together] by yours truly before being relegated to standing somewhere and then being sold. Whereas bro got one when he was in 7th [its quite a tale, remind me to tell you] and we still have it. Even though he doesn’t ride it now, its kept in top condition. It’s an Avon back from when Avon was a new name.

Anyway the bike ride, I took less traveled road [as I fear the big trucks on the highway.]. It was a sunny morning as the rain’s gone on holiday for some reason. There were women filling up water, a regular sight you’ll see here. No kids… all in school, mwahahaha. The road went through the woods, well there were supposed to be woods. I marveled at how this place has changed since when I used to visit when we were in Goa. Back then you’d see mud houses, fields full of green rice crops [in the rains], huge trees, wild mangoes and the occasional Brickhouse with Doordarshan on TV on loud. TV = Rich person back then here. Nobody gave two shits about all the vast land.

Now, due to newer industries springing up and Mumbai rates sky rocketing, people are finding new homes here. Land rates have gone up making the populace richer. Most people own lands in which there are woods so they cut the wood and sell it to Lumber mills and then sell the land. Fields are going the same way as the population keeps coming in. Two days ago that farmer was starving for food… low rains… losses in crops, suddenly his farm sells for a huge some and bang Farmer is transformed into Lakhpati. Thats the tale mostly. Pro-environmentalists may find it hard but really can you blame the farmer for the choice between feeding his family versus the good of the environment? What would we have done if he chose the latter? Mostly nothing. Survival of the “fattest” indeed.

Jobs in these parts are hard to come by and payment is mostly low so the only option is starting a Small Business or going to the cities to work. And what do you need to start a SB? Money. It’s basically the rural tale of the country as they cope up with the galloping cities… technology mixing into old ways. Blame Reliance for the huge number of mobile phones in India!

Enough with the sermon, this isn’t a sermon post. Came back down the same road again and I found why I prefer not to get out of the house on Tuesdays. Loads of kids on the road… kids who know me and call me “Kaka” or uncle. Seriously, DO I FREAKING LOOK LIKE AN UNCLE?!! Call me “Dada” [brother] or by my name! But no, all along the way everyone’s screaming “Kaka!” Bah. My uncle thinks that if I shave that little hair under my nose, I’d appear younger. But hey, what about growing a moustache like Tony Iommi… all evil emperors should have moustache’s… otherwise why would anyone fear me? Mucch nahi toh kuch nahi.

Got home all sweaty. Times of India was stale as usual. What with the advent of 24 hr news channels [which people get zapped to as they grow older... I've researched] and the internet, the punch of the morning papers has somewhat gone. Plus what with the bitch news of so and so actor gave birth to twins while so and so singer is a bad mom… things are in a bad bad state. One particular piece caught my attention though. It had the blaring headline of “Shani side up for Black Dogs.” That chick can’t keep out of the headlines even when she’s on holiday. See this is why I make a better Emperor, I keep out of the limelight and do THA work while my ahem.. enemies act like Divas.

Some dudes called Obama and McCain are going for President of USA… I couldn’t care less.. I’m going to conquer America anyway and make them American’s build some pyramids in my honor. I tell ya folks.. the Pyramid of Washington is going to in the record books somewhere in the future. We might even make it eco friendly by building it from containers… what say Ronin?

E3 is going down somewhere. I remember when it used to be a huge event. Still is to some extent but once again, I couldn’t care less. If you own a Wii, PS3 or 360 and want the latest newz from E3 check this site out. One of my favourite haunts.

The internet is a wonderful place what with tips, porn, blogs, porn, flickr, porn.. you get it right? It saved me some hours on Monday. Some local agency dude had to have his data sorted. What he wanted done was to make one big database from the sectioned ones which had been arranged by month earlier, and match and remove entries from another data. Good thing it was just numbers. The thing involved copy pasting all the entries into an Excel sheet, then going on the net to find me some solution to do it the tech way rather than manually searching and removing the numbers. Found the VLOOKUP formula and in ten minutes I was done. I’m no expert in Excel as I learned it nearly [theres two years to go still] a decade ago and I never knew then that I would require it someday… it was all about the games. Plus I never use EXCEL for such hardcore purposes… just some simple formulae and I’m done. Now I have mastered the VLOOKUP and its been a gift.

Which reminds me to tell you that I, youknowthefreakingthing Geek Wrestler, am currently working with some friends on a fansite. It is basically going to be a huge infobase on Computer games and Music. Me and another dude are going to be designing it. The idea is to make a website chronicling every computer game that has been made for the computer with users allowed to post their own reviews and stuff like mods, art etc. The same goes for the music side… but its just going to be Rock and Metal. Now you know who’s handling the music side of things right? We’re also thinking of new artists who’d like to show their music to the world but not on the plate right now. It’s still in the baby stages right now as things have to be planned. As they [the others] are going to be on holidays soon, it might take a few months to take off but I’m pretty excited.

Then there’s another project me and bro are working on. We’ve been doing it since I don’t remember when but right now its coming up nicely. I’ve been testing the thing on my test server and it looks good. The only problem is the net… I don’t have the bandwidth to upload high-res photos [which are needed] so it’ll have to wait a while.

And then theres work. It’s the “season” right now and I’m pretty busy most of the time killing my fingers by typing. The little bit of free time I get is spent on writing blog posts so no blogsurfing. Sorry to anyone missing me comments.. will have to wait until mid-August at the earliest. The rain playing coy has increased troubles as the electricity load-shedding hours have been increased to 8 from 6. Inverter batteries only last so much. F*ck the Government.

And with that happy note, we ask leave from the Geeky Ramblings Report.
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You’re supposed to clap.

Am I Going Insane (Radio)

I am in a bad mood today… for no apparent reason that I can figure out. The symptoms happen to be general pissed offness, high levels [more than my regular levels which are quite higher than normal] of irritation making me resemble a dragon with a bad case of cold. -_-”

Everybody’s looking at me
Feeling paranoid inside
When I step outside I feel free
Think I’ll find a place to hide

My folks fixed me up with some career counsellor dudette because I’m still having trouble finding that thing at which I’m good. The meeting came of just as I expected.. the same old useless crap of “do what you want and what you are good at.” Um, why would I be sitting here if I KNEW those things? And to top it all, she thinks I should try journalism… I happen to have that “air”. Maybe she was a psychic and had the ability to look into my brain or something… or probably had a good nose to “smell the air”. When have I ever shown anything remotely resembling the highly polished writings in the newspapers? So instead coming off “enlightened”, I came out more confused.

Tell me people
Am I going insane, insane
Tell me people
Am I going insane, insane

A few months ago I was dead set on my way to 3D design land with the goal of becoming a Game developer. However looking at the current game industry, its all just the same generic crap in a different bundle. Ten years ago the scene was different with new and interesting things coming out. These days its the same crap - shoot, collect achievements, post them on the net and make friends? Why the FUCK do I want to make friends by shooting them? It almost reflects my music tastes in which I prefer the older music compared to today as its the same old generic crap.

Every day I sit and wonder
How my life it used to be
Now I feel like going under
Now my life is hard to see

I could count all the things or professions I’d want to be in - Fighter pilot, 3D design, programming, networks… yadda yadda, the problem is, I do not feel any passion to do any one of them. There has to be that little something to actually BE the best, some sort of challange… passion and that is not what I feel. Maybe us young lads really need to learn these things some years ago rather than the “I want the freedom to do whatever I choose”. If I had ever known that I would be in such a fix THEN, I’d never have said that. I could have gone on to become a doctor [as my mother wanted] and earned some money… thats what everything has become.. MONEY!! No passion, no challenge… just the same old generic crap to squeeze some more dollars.

So tell me people
Am I going insane, insane
Tell me people
Am I going insane, insane

Why was I never taught how to be snake tounged, polished in school? Why was I never taught how to make paans, how to run a grocery shop, how to run a business, how to make money by doing the same thing over and over again? Why the freaking hell do I need to know that Nero was burning CD’s while Rome burned? Is Nero going to come and give me some money? Oh sure, they teach you all that but after twelfth… but no wait, all computer guys should just do a B.Tech and then the company will train you? Then why do I spend 15 years in an education system learning how many millimeters of rain fell in 1942? Why am I given tools that are of no use to me unless I break them up and make new ones?

So I’m telling all you people
Listen while I sing again
If I don’t sound very cheerful
I think that I’m a schizophrene

WHY, after having existed for 19 damn years am I still finding it difficult to understand myself? WHY? Maybe its just the teen emo angst pouring out…
I remembered a quote from the King Arthur movie “Pelagius is dead. The Rome you dream of Artorius lives only in your imagination.” Maybe the world I dream of just exists in my imagination. Maybe its just my pessimistic view of things finally getting to me…. I need a freaking holiday.

So tell me people
Am I going insane, insane
Tell me people
Am I going insane, insane